Chocolate Waffle Turtle Cookies

Hi everyone! I'm going to be completely honest and show you all the failure behind the beautiful pictures.

 

Oh, and as always, that picture above is the TEASER. There's no way on this side of heaven that I will ever be able to make something that gorgeous without lots and lots of help... and prayer... and some intensive training in a Parisian patisserie.
Since that's not happening anytime soon, I thought I'd share the failures that go into a pretty little blog post from The Fresh Pioneer.

 

NB: Dear Edna takes no responsibility for any portion of the 'fail' part. She is, as always, perfection!
I know you're thinking, "Waitaminute! The regular pictures weren't the failure? There's MORE?"

*ahem* Yes, the finished product is usually the result of a bit of slight-of-hand and a lot of they-can't-taste-it-so-it's-fine.
Now, a few weeks ago Julie sent me a link to a funny pictorial list of Pinterest fails.

Pinterest Fails... Do not drink coffee while reading.

  I laughed. A LOT. And LOUDLY. Because I am the queen of "that looks so easy" and "I bet I can do that".
  I like to think I'm a pessimist in general. But I admit I'm an absolute dreamer when it comes to food and crafts.
                                                   
See, I'm thinking this doesn't look so hard! I can DO THAT.
So, let's start on today's recipe. My sister makes the most incredible fudgy chocolate 'turtles'. These are made in the waffle maker, so it can't be that hard, right??
Huh.

Ingredient list:
2 cups flour
1/2 cup cocoa powder
1 1/2 cups sugar
 4 eggs
2/3 margarine
1 tsp vanilla

 Mix dry ingredients in a small bowl. Mix all others with the mixer until well-blended, add together.

It looks like brownies. And is the same consistency. Edna was having a good time. :)
After waffle maker is heated, add by spoonfuls to the griddle and close.

Here's the tricky part. If you pry them off too roughly... crumbly FAIL. Still edible, but not pretty.

Take them out too late and... burned FAIL. (Some brave child took a bite but then spit it out. Smelled good. Tasted like charcoal.)

Take them out too soon... raw FAIL. Still edible in our house. Not good for bringing to play dates because nobody likes to risk salmonella poisoning.

Hmmmmm. Taste tester is thinking over this one...

They are approved! Now, on to make the frosting. I found a nice recipe that hasn't failed me yet.
6 tbs butter
6 tbs cocoa
6 tbs canned evaporated milk
1 tsp vanilla
2 cups powder sugar

Mmmmm. Just right. Thank you, Edna!

Ta-DAH!!

The large one in the middle represents the biggest of my daughter's three turtles. Her name is Monster and she's quite vicious. (The turtle, not my daughter. She's a sweetie.) Here is Monster enjoying the sun in the hopes it will improve her little attitude.

Now, if I were less honest, I would have skipped all those fail pictures... Or maybe it's because Edna is peering over my shoulder and snorting every time I post a pretty picture that has left the kitchen in shambles.

(OOOOO, I went looking for a Google pic of a dirty kitchen. *shriek* SCARY STUFF. DO NOT EVRE GOOGLE "DIRTY KITCHENS". *hyperventilates* *starts scrubbing the house*)

I need something pretty now to counteract those other pictures... Quickly!

 

Ahhhh, Better. Anyway, I have to say, I do enjoy a bit of loveliness in the world. Happily-ever-after fiction, or photoshop, or just plain positive thinking makes me a happy girl.

 

So, take moment to enjoy something beautiful! Your heart will thank you.

Until next time!